Chat Funnies

[Snargfargle]

A cop once detained an old man for standing in a yard that had a "For Sale" sign in it while looking at the house because she thought he looked suspicious. She demanded to see his ID and he said that it was on the bus. She then put him into her patrol car and drove him to the bus so that she could document his identity before she released him. The old man was Nobel laureate, ten-time Grammy winner, and Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient Robert Zimmerman. You might know him by his stage name.

Edited February 27 by Snargfargle

[Wolfswetpaws]

🤔

[Snargfargle]

2 hours ago, Wolfswetpaws said:

🤔

"When he wandered into the yard of a home that had a "For Sale" sign on it, the home's occupants became spooked by his appearance and called police with a report of an "eccentric-looking old man" in their yard, Long Branch Police said. One of the occupants even went so far as to follow him as he continued on down the street."

"We got a call for a suspicious person,'' Buble said. "It was pouring rain outside, and I was right around the corner so I responded. By that time he was walking down the street. I asked him what he was doing in the neighborhood and he said he was looking at a house for sale."

"I asked him what his name was and he mumbled something underneath his breath. He was wearing black sweatpants tucked into black rain boots, and two raincoats with the hood pulled down over his head."

"So I said, 'OK, what are you doing in Long Branch?' He said he was touring the country with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp. So now I'm really a little fishy about his story. I did not know what to believe."

"We see a lot of people on our beat, and I wasn't sure if he came from one of our hospitals or something," Buble said.

She asked for identification, but the old man had none. She asked where he was staying and he said his tour buses were parked at some big hotel on the ocean. Buble said she assumed that to be the nearby Ocean Place Conference Resort.

"He was acting very suspicious,'' Buble said. "Not delusional, just suspicious. You know, it was pouring rain and everything."

"OK, why don't you get in the car and we'll drive to the hotel and go verify this?," she said she told him. "I put him in the back of the car."

"He was really nice, though, and he said he understood why I had to verify his identity and why I couldn't let him go," Buble said. "He asked me if I could drive him back to the neighborhood when I verified who he was, which made me even more suspicious.

"I pulled into the parking lot," she said, "and sure enough there were these enormous tour buses, and I thought, 'Whoa.'"

Eventually, the police were shown Bob Dylan's passport, which Buble said she looked at, saw the legend's name, and rather sheepishly handed it back to Dylan's manager.

"OK,'' she recalled saying as she smiled. "Um, have a nice day."

A police department source said Buble had taken her share of good-natured ribbing from some of the older officers.

https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/jersey-homeowner-calls-cops-bob-dylan/story?id=8331830

Bob Dylan has a net worth of half a billion dollars.

Edited February 27 by Snargfargle

[Snargfargle]

This is why I don't play ABBA songs on my guitar. I know a dozen guitar chords, that surely is enough to play all the songs, right? Yeah, sure, buddy.

These are the chords to Don't Shut Me Down.

[Snargfargle]

The Map is Neighbors.

[Snargfargle]

[Snargfargle]

[Snargfargle]

Tempting an enemy BB to move out from behind its rock so that your allied sub can torpedo it.

[Snargfargle]

When you first hear about the wildfire that's burning just south of you on a YouTube military joke channel.

[Snargfargle]

 

[Snargfargle]

[Snargfargle]

[Snargfargle]

This is an actual conversation I overheard on the radio when I was training at Irwin.

Army aircraft:  "What the <bleep?!>. Over."

Control: "Army aircraft _____, please maintain proper radio discipline. Over."

Army aircraft: "<bleep> of a <beeping bleep>."

Control: "Army aircraft_____, if you don't maintain proper radio discipline, I will place a note in your training record. Over."

Army aircraft: "Someone just shot a flare through my windscreen and now it's burning in my cockpit. Over."

Control: "What the <bleep?!>. Over."

Edited March 9 by Snargfargle

[thornzero]

EU server Ranked - it's always the guy in the Massachusetts

[Wolfswetpaws]

So, the cookout was a success?

[Snargfargle]

 

[Wolfswetpaws]

41 minutes ago, Snargfargle said:

 

There's another version wherein Grand Moff Tarkin says something like, "I say we are in firing range now." an they blow-up the planet that's blocking the line-of-fire to the Rebel Base in order to get to the Rebel Base.

Edit.  Found it.

 

Edited March 17 by Wolfswetpaws

[Snargfargle]

All my friends got a hawk, wolf, or lion as their spirit animal. Unfortunately, I was late for the queue and all the great spirit had left was a gerbil. Now I'm going to have to find some new friends because I don't like the way my old friends have been looking at me lately.

[Wolfswetpaws]

4 minutes ago, Snargfargle said:

All my friends got a hawk, wolf, or lion as their spirit animal. Unfortunately, I was late for the queue and all the great spirit had left was a gerbil. Now I'm going to have to find some new friends because I don't like the way my old friends have been looking at me lately.

Offer to pull thorns from the Lion's foot, so long as they don't eat you and protect you.
Problem solved.  🙂  

[Snargfargle]

And you thought the AI in WOWS was bad?

 

[Snargfargle]

When you head down to tier III, expecting to see this.

And run into this instead.

[Snargfargle]

 

[Wolfswetpaws]

4 hours ago, Snargfargle said:

 

There's a t-shirt or poster (depending upon sources) with a similar sentiment for Ferrets.


 

[Snargfargle]

I'm a bit curious as to just how this printing technology was first discovered.

 

[Snargfargle]

This is a joke but don't you just wish that you could get eight 9mm bullets for a quarter out of a vending machine?

 

Edited March 21 by Snargfargle